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GraceNotes

Life lessons cleverly disguised as shiatsu-y goodness delivered twice weekly to your inbox.

Zazen

"Opening the hand of thought."

Click the image for this week's contemplation.

Wednesday
10Mar2010

Voila! For Lack of a Better Title

I was flattered to be asked to write a guest post by Bridget Pilloud for her blog, "Voila", on the topic of being present in the body.

Something I know a little something about.

A little thing I discovered in the process of writing it was the irresistibility toward ranting on the importance - no, necessity - of infants being held a LOT, if not continuously, ala' Jean Liedloff's "The Continuum Concept" ... a book that informed my parenting from week one of my first child's life.

And hey, whaddya know... it's now relevant to my current profession!

If you haven't read the book, or heard of it (but omg, I just saw a reference made to it in "Meet the Fockers"!), then please, check it out. (Library, fave book store, buy from me by clicking image ... whatever, just get it!)


And here's the blog post... "Anywhere But Here". Be sure to say hi to Bridget. She's pretty awesome. And writes beautiful taco-based poetry.

Would love your thoughts.

Saturday
06Mar2010

Carnival of Healing #223 - Grace in Gravity

Welcome (back) to Grace in Gravity!

If you're a return visitor, you may have noticed I have a new look. Many thanks to Amy Crook of Not Dead Yet Studios for transforming a smudge on my mirror (true story) into a lovely work of art that I hoped would convey my theme.

Speaking of themes, I was at a bit of a loss for one for this carnival.

Being that the opportunities to host are now fewer and further between, I wanted to make this one So Very Extra Special. A new year, new website image, new feature, the approach of spring... sure, these things could easily lend themselves to the message of newness and transformation.

But then, maybe the emergent theme is even more obvious.

Grace in Gravity. Spiritual Beings Having a Human Experience and all that.

You know, how to navigate the trials and tribulations of physical existence while reaching for that longed-for sense of Communion and Oneness, in whatever form it may come. With self, with each other, with Spirit.

Isn't this the real intention behind healing?

With that, let us begin.

One of the most important prerequisites of successfully being human is the ability to laugh about it.

The obvious first post would be from Mad Kane's Humor Blog, and "Send Us Spring, STAT!"

Is there anything that can make (some of) us feel less graceful, and more humble, than doing yoga in public? Savvy Brown, writes of conquering her fear (and probably speaks for many of us) in "Yoga for Chickens".

To be alive is to navigate perpetual transition.

The challenge is to do so with ease.

Eliza Fayle, who has inspired me to use the word "crumpets" as a curse, explains why we women transitioning into our crone years are a lot less tolerant of the demands of others than we had been when younger. Read "Nurturing Ourselves Instead of Others" on her lovely site, Silver and Grace.

The recent shifts in economy have certainly created a transitional climate for us ... one in which many of us have had to rethink our actions and habits. Some lives were devastated. But in some fortunate cases, we've been able to use this time as an impetus to make different life choices.

In the situations we actually have power over, our choices might lead us to one side or the other regarding this post by Healthgasm: "25 Ways in Which the Great Recession is Afffecting Our Health". 

To be human is to sometimes doubt our own worthiness.

Christopher Foster, of The Happy Seeker, reminds us that if we want to experience love, both the giving and receiving, there is no better place to start than with ourselves, in "Who Truly Deserves Your Love"?

Feelings of self-worthiness, in my opinion, start at birth, if not before. But in the absence of such reinforcement, it become our own adult responsibility to reclaim it. James Feudo, of Overnight Sensation, illustrates this in "Why You're Not Worthless".

Of course, there are times we can use a little help from a trusted friend (or massage therapist), as my trusted friend (and massage therapist) William Bryan writes so eloquently in "The Heart of Touch".

Expression of our innate divinity begins with the practice of awareness.

As in, awareness, of the stories that lead us toward or away from what we want in life, like in Kathleen Gage's post, "What Holds Many People Back from Success... Resentment!"

Awareness that comes from shaking up the routine a bit, which Jenn Givler recommends in "Do Something Different!"

Awareness of the power that the beauty of the natural world can bring to our overworked and anxious minds in this lovely guided Full Moon Visualization, from The Conscious Life.

From Kaushik Chokshi, on Beyond Karma, a post which sums up in the first point anything I could possibly say about the subject of awareness in The Basics - 13 Key Points About the Flow of Awakening.

And if naval-gazing as a means of gaining awareness is not your thing, you can try Writing as Meditation, as described on The Emotion Machine.

Of course we still need to attend to the pesky needs of our physical bodies.

Just a few tips on holistically addresing the various ailments which may plague us:

From Gout Cures... Interesting ways of dealing with gout (which seem far more palatable than the prescribed medication of colchicine that my husband took once).

From Heartstrong - The Top Four Exercises People Do Wrong - And How to Fix Them!  Very useful info, as I've certainly hurt myself while trying to do something good.

Next to last, a post that I'm hopeful will lead to a lot of useful support for the largest segment of our population which may be hardest hit by our current health care crisis, "Alternative Medicine (for Baby Boomers)... Is it Right for You?"

This concludes the March edition of The Carnival of Healing.

Last month, it was hosted by Your Joyous Life. Next month, (April 3rd) be sure to visit The Wild Reiki and Shamanic Healing Blog.

And now, I will leave you with an invitation to prepare for the wonders of impending spring, with "Open the Window to Beauty", from Be Zen, My Friend.

(Many heartfelt thanks to Phylameana lila Desy for keeping this thing going, and supporting the growth of the holistic blogging community.)

Wednesday
03Mar2010

Daily Om

Tuesday
02Mar2010

Self-Touch is Love

Today's beautiful post is by my twitter friend, Bridget Pilloud. She talks to animals, and she writes some lovely stuff for people. I asked her to contribute something for my self-love theme in February. She was good about getting it to me; I was lax in getting it posted.

But self- love is always relevent, yes? Enjoy.

“You need to get in your body. You need to stop directing it from your head.” 

I saw a little me in my head pulling levers, moving this arm and then that arm, picking up this leg, walking. 

This was a message from my morning meditation.  It was, unfortunately, not a new message.  I had been outside my body for years. 

When you are outside your body, life can be difficult.  You feel spacey, ungrounded. You feel sensitive to the world around you.

Your body reacts as well. It puts on weight in an attempt to ground you. The disconnect widens as you feel like your body has betrayed you. You avoid it, ignore it. It’s a vicious cycle.

The Big Question

The big question, at that moment, was “How do I get back in?”

I tried a bunch of ideas for getting back into my body. I made better choices in my diet. I tried acupuncture, yoga, exercise.

These all helped, but I still felt outside it.

I didn’t have an easy grace. I didn’t feel grounded. I felt out there.

Then, one day, a friend said, “What if you just touch your body? What if you just spend 5 minutes touching your feet?  Start with your feet.  And while you touch your body, tell your body how much you appreciate it.

That seemed, well, silly. Touch my body?  My feet?  Tell my body how much I love it?

I set the timer, settled into a bubble bath and touched my feet. I noticed how my little toes turn out. I felt the tendons on my arches. I told my feet that I love them. I thanked them for being there, for putting up with pointy shoes.  I loved my feet for five minutes each, every part of them.

It was cool. It was weird. My feet felt appreciated.  My feet loved me back. It’s hard to explain it better than that.

It’s just, I realized that my feet are like willing friends. They never say no to my journey.  They felt so much better because I touched them.

It went beyond getting the soreness out. It went all the way into my feet feeling appreciated for being my feet.

I thought of all the ways that touch can mean love. 

My mother would help us fall asleep by rubbing our cheeks and smoothing our hair over our ears.  My sweetheart reaches his fingers over to mine, and puts my hand on his heart.  My kids sneak up behind me to hug me. 

Over the next few months, I went on to love and appreciate every part of my body.  It’s changed how I view my time in this temple. It’s changed how I view what I look like and who I am.  I feel much more present and mindful and it’s much easier to love myself.  All this from touching my feet. Crazy.

Touch means love.  And self-touch is some of the most important love of all.

Bridget Pilloud is an intuitive guidance counselor. She works with people and she also works with pets. You can find her at http://www.bridgetpilloud.com and http://www.petsaretalking.com and on twitter at @intuitivebridge .

 

Tuesday
23Feb2010

Is It Spring Yet?

(A post in which I try to refrain from using the phrase, "Rising Wood...")

Dirty old melting snow still covers most of the ground here in Pennsylvania.

After a couple weeks of this, and on a gray day like today, you can't help but feel like the cold dreary slush is creeping in under your own skin.

We start to feel dragged down. Winter weary. Cabin and condo fever-ish.

And yes, feeling from a bit irritable to downright, "Enough already, dammit!"

Even my cat is going nuts. More nuts than usual, I mean.

I know that for a number of years I dreaded the last couple weeks of February. I got cranky, agitated, rage-y, depressed, as the memory of warmth and sunshine was like a faraway dream. Like it might never come again. Like annual PMS. 

I would forget every year that this was a temporary thing.

What I know now.

Besides that this too shall pass, Chinese medicine has taught me that we start to internally shift into the energy of the next season in the few weeks before it officially arrives.

Meaning: Spring is Wood energy. Strong, upward rising, sap-shooting, bulb-busting, raw, creative energy.

You get a sense of where I'm going here?

It's coming. The birds feel it. I can smell it in the air, see it in the buds on the trees, and the slant of the light coming through the kitchen window in the late afternoon.

Even as the seeds are breaking free to release tiny shoots beneath the snow, we are feeling that spark deep within. We're antsy. We're ready to come out of hibernation, and get on with it. We, like the plants, are yearning for the sunlight.

But, until the conditions are right, that energy may be thwarted for a bit. And, if there's anything Wood energy does not do well with, it's being thwarted.

Blocked Wood energy feels like... well, stagnation. Frustration. Anger. Irritability. Think of a creative urge you can't find a way to express. An idea that has no outlet. An impulse that cannot find release. A transition that is difficult to complete.

Heck, I feel uncomfortable just writing about it.

This is what we're feeling in the waning of winter. The internal expectation of "Up and out, already!"

The impetus of "Must. Find. Sunlight."

Patience is called for.

As well as preparation.

Physically.

Wood energy rules the Liver and Gall Bladder, making this an excellent time to do a cleanse. The Liver is compelled to wake up and do housecleaning of the excesses of winter. Give it support. You will be rewarded with an evening out of the sporadic energy, a relief from sluggishness, and a clearer vessel to through which to channel creativity.

For folks who tend toward physical liver issues, headaches might be more frequent during this time. Cleansing can be helpful here.

Wood energy also governs the ligaments. Exercises that promote stretching and flexibility are recommended. Think 'bendy green sapling', instead of 'brittle, craggy old wood'.

Mentally.

For me, when warm weather first hits, I feel both exhilarated and overwhelmed. Suddenly the outdoors is friendly again, but there is SO FRIGGIN' MUCH TO DO!! And I want to do it all. Now.

 Upward and outward, right? Sunlight beckons everything to start growing. All at once.

In the Five Element cycle, each phase is nourished by the one that proceeds it (in this case, Water (snow), but is also controlled by the one across from it (in this case, Metal).

The energy of Metal can be likened to an axe or pruning shears. It's about control, attention to details, and editing. And Wood is also about planning and decision-making.

Having a plan and cutting back on the infinite possibilities will better channel the potential overgrowth, and allow for the important projects to get the attention they need. (Yes, I'm especially talking to myself here...)

But be careful with the pruning.. too much control and you'll kill the growth process.

Also, breathing (a Metal - Lung activity) will bring patience and tension relief when the overwhelm comes.

Emotionally.

The emotion associated with Wood is anger. As I described before, anger and some of its attendant expressions, are felt when the energy is blocked. If you're feeling frustrated, try to see or feel what is perceived as an obstacle.

What can't you follow through on? What do you need patience with? Can you grow around it?

  (Think of the tenacity of grass and weeds to grow through cracks in the sidewalk. Where there's a will, there's a way.)

Spring cleaning. Yes, we instinctively clean our houses, like our bodies do, clearing out the crap, letting the fresh air and sunshine in. More space. Less stagnation and stuff in the way.

Spiritually.

An excellent time to sow seeds and intentions for what you want to cultivate and harvest in the next 6-8 months. What inspires you? What will you need to put your ideas into action?

Also, in TCM, the Liver is believed to house the Ethereal Soul, or the Hun... a 'soul -personality' that survives after death and is nourished by our goodwill and harmonious relationships with others, as well as the remembrance of our goodwill to others, after we die.

The Hun is also the source of that creativity and self-expression so characteristic of Wood energy.

One last observation I want to share.

Earth energy, which, while not directly impacting Wood in the Five Phase cycle, is considered to come into play during seasonal transitions. I would also suggest that cultivating a sense of grounding, or roots, would give some stability to the rising Wood energy, and keep up from being metaphorically top-heavy or uprooted.

Physical exercise, and of course, digging in the dirt, will give you a deep sense of connection with your ground of being.

Want to sow some seeds? Unblock some energy with self-expression? Do it below!

Wednesday
17Feb2010

Touching the Heart

Seems that twitter is the place to find all my long-lost soul-kin.

For example, please welcome Karen Caterson (@SquarePegKaren), author of today's guest post. In her words, she is a "Recovering Psychotherapist, Square-Peg Advocate and Writer at Square-Peg Reflections, where she can be found wondering, weaving life-stories, swearing, and relishing the Square-Peg community (but not necessarily in that order)."

********

I want to talk about touching the heart - the gift of real person-to-person communication. I'll start by sharing a couple of explanatory stories.

And being the bass-ackwards kind of gal that I am, I'll tell you the one that illustrates not touching the heart first. This is my DMV story...

I was at the local Department of Motor Vehicles office with my daughter a couple weeks ago (the chore part of a girls' day out). And while I wasn't expecting to see anyone sit down to cookies and tea with their chosen government worker, I didn't realize that the visit would be so impersonal (and weird).

While I waited for my daughter to renew her license I looked around. The office wasn't busy - only 2 workers, 2 customers - and me. One worker - the fellow across the room - laughed with his customer. Both he and the customer were smiling a lot. No cookies and tea, but still...

My daughter was called to the desk of a woman who didn't seem to be there to laugh and smile with her people. The interaction was odd. With an expressionless face and a monotone voice, my daughter was asked the (apparently) standard questions. I would say that it was a no-nonsense kind of exchange, but I can't - it was BIG nonsense.

After complying with the request to: "Sign there.", Slightly-Brit (daughter) was asked: "Is that your signature?" Huh? I thought maybe she'd used a signature vastly different from the one on her old license. But no - this was just the first of a series of superfluous questions.

Next Slightly-Brit was told to look at a particular spot as her photo was taken. Then she was asked (while being shown the photo that was just taken): "Is that your picture?"

What? Are there photo-altering ghosts at the DMV now? Who else's picture could that possibly be? But we're not done yet.

The woman assisting Slightly-Brit pushed buttons, moved levers and pulled out my daughter's brand new driver's license. Before handing it over though, she had another question (of the woman, my daughter, who had not moved from her chair during this whole procedure - and who was the only person within 12 foot of the government worker's desk or license making machine) - and she asked this with an expressionless face and a monotone voice: "Is this your signature and your photo?" Argh!

How can someone ask questions like that without a hint of humor? Even if you aren't a chuckler, I think it'd be hard not to share an ain't-this-standard-operating-procedure-crap-ridiculous moment with a customer. But there was no connection - or communication (no heart touching) - in that encounter. Just procedure, just: "1-2-3 Next!"

Contrast the DMV visit with this experience: during my Gestalt Therapy trainings I was wont to cry at one particular point during every training week-end - the time when I was a client (the week-ends involved triad work where we each took a turn as a therapist, a client and an observer).

We would get into groups, go off to find a semi-secluded spot and start to work. I didn't cry when I was the therapist or the observer. But every time I was the client I'd start to cry immediately. Before our "session" started!

"Why?", you ask. Well, even if you didn't ask - I sure did! "Why? Why? Why am I crying every #%@!-ing time I'm the client!?!"

I bet you know! It had to do with real communication. But I didn't realize that until - after my 47 zillionth repetition of the question: "Why? Why? Why am I crying every #%@!-ing time I'm the client!?!" - when another trainee wondered if I wasn't reacting to being seen and heard (brilliant folks, those Gestalters!).

Yes, I was! My heart was being touched - I was being seen and heard every time I was the client - that's a rare gift. No wonder I cried (for joy!).

These stories are from opposite ends of the communication spectrum. There's a lot of difference between dealing with someone in an automaton-like way (no connection) and encountering someone person-to-person in real communication - connecting in a way that allows someone to feel seen and heard.

Real communication (touching hearts/having our hearts touched) is something we all deeply desire (maybe even need).

And whether it's as tiny as a few seconds of meaningful eye contact or a smile on the run -- or as big as a couple hours of deep soul sharing with a trusted other - we can all touch hearts. We have opportunities every day for real person-to-person communication.

So which end of the spectrum would you like to move toward? Do you want to be someone's DMV-type horror story (good for a giggle when told, but not heart touching - not life expanding) or would you rather make grown people cry touch hearts?

Go touch hearts!

Tuesday
16Feb2010

God, Do I Love My Job

In case your notice of this escaped you somehow (in spite of the continuous twittering, blogging, facebooking and whatever else) I gave my Shiatsu for Lovers and Others class this weekend.

Two days, two locations, and much to my surprise, two full houses in each. (yay!)

In spite of the romantic overtones, being Valentine's Day and all, I did open it up to any combination of partners, because after all, this was shiatsu, not erotic massage or anything. But as it was, the enrollment consisted of eight married couples.

Couples (or at least half of the couple) who thought this was THE perfect thing to do for this holiday... learning how to give a shiatsu treatment to their partner (and then get one in return). And partners who were there more as a gift to their, um, wives (there I've said it) but still made a valiant effort, and for them I am doubly appreciative.

I did my best to make it special.

I printed up hand-outs and supplementary materials presented in these cool rose-embossed folders of pink and purple; I offered cheese and crackers, grapes, dates and chocolates (as promised!) and fancy-schmancy carbonated blood orange juice served in plastic martini glasses.

I made up a gift bag for one couple to to be able to reproduce the experience later... consisting of "The Book of Shiatsu", a special aromatherapy candle, some other stuff and a free shiatsu session.

And then the class.

Given the theme and the time constraints, I really had to distill into a few short paragraphs what I felt was relevant for the class to know, as the demo portion would take up most of the time.

I honed in more on the healing aspects of loving and therapeutic touch, rather than the particulars of shiatsu, but I found even that could have filled an entire weekend. Which is is very exciting to me, as the wheels are now turning in regards to an entire weekend workshop next year.

And I certainly wil be exploring this more in blog posts to come, if not a whole online course.

But anyway, it was a joy to me to see these people, most who had hardly even heard of shiatsu, kneeling by their partners, coming from their haras to give wonderful shiatsu pressure... sneaking in kisses and cuddles, while I tried not to grin too noticeably.

I learned a lot as well... remarkably how much touch is a form of communication (duh.. I know, right? But to see it in action..), and how much more there is to say about this vast topic.

Which I will. I am very excited. And again, very grateful for what I do and for the people who allow me to do it.

Oh look, pictures of happy people!! (I'm the shorty in the middle...)

February 13th, Lionville Holistic Health CenterFebruary 14th, Creative Healing Arts