Where's Your Valve?
Thursday, November 19, 2009 at 07:30AM 
Some people who know me, know that I am reluctant to say I have beliefs.
I prefer to say, "possible scenarios I am currently entertaining".
One such scenario is that about Oneness, and that we are all expressions of such.
And not just expressions, but conduits, vessels, to channel the grace of Oneness to the physical plane in order to to help each other remember and relive that experience that we so long for.
So, I got to thinking about power the other day, prompted by an observation made during a session by a client.
She was remarking how powerful my hands felt, with a small degree of awe.
For me, being 5' 1'', and not exactly the most noticeable, outgoing, assertive ... (shall I go on?) person in the room - in fact, I've prided myself on achieving invisibility, more by default - this felt strangely good to hear. "Powerful' is not a self-descriptive term I would reach for.
Normally I would have brushed it off, but in that moment, I let it sink in, and allowed myself to really try on that description of 'powerful'.
Oh my gosh! What if I am? What if I've been totally mistaken about the reasons behind some of my relationship issues... that it's not so much because I'm a wimp, but because I am too afraid of letting my power loose?
And then I had this other thought, one I've mentioned before, about how I'm fearful of making people uncomfortable, and yet, here I am in a profession that requires me to get in people's spaces and make them feel uncomfortable.
I still struggle with this.
But what occurred to me how this affects me physically. Coming on the heels of my last post, about using my hara to inform my sessions, and ideally express the fullness of my being to my receiver by really leaning into them, I noticed when I don't do that - when I hold back - my left shoulder and neck lock up. And my breathing gets shallow.
It's like ... closing up a valve.
It isn't tension as a result of poor body mechanics, it's where I stop the flow.
And I'm thinking this happens in other places too, in other situations, and with many other people.
If we are, indeed, by nature, channels of the divine... if that's what our bodies, and tissues and cells are REALLY created for.. if our sole purpose is to express our particular frequency of divinity, then it would stand to reason that when we hinder that flow, we're gonna feel it in our physical bodies.
Our shoulders, our gut, our throats, our hearts.
So, what it means, what it feels like to me, is that it's not really 'my' power I'm afraid of expressing or owning. My real power is in how willingly I allow divinity to flow through me.
It reminds me of when I was in labor with my first son.
When it came down to the final stages, my body knew what to do, and what I remember taking away from that afterward was that the most effective role I could play was to stay out of the way and allow it to happen. My second guessing, or rushing, or even 'helping' did nothing but hinder the process and cause me discomfort.
And while this seemed passive, it was the hardest thing I had ever done. Allowing the fullness of the forces of nature inscribed in my DNA to do its thing was humbling to say the least.
Let's Play.
There's a lot here to consider. I'll leave it at this for the moment, but I invite you to try seeing your own aches and pains, tension, frustration, anger, fatigue as an indication that you may be holding back from allowing your power and purpose to flow through you.
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Reader Comments (6)
I never took you to be invisable. Your definately not with me. I thought you were trying to make me uncomfortable LOLOL
Of course, that couldn't happen. I like your interaction. At any level.
Hey Gina,
Really liked this post. I have been trying to do something like this in my own practice, but feeling the elements ala Micheal Rose (top shiatsu dude). Have allways felt that oneness makes sense and only in the last several years is becoming a real felt experience for me, I think the Shiatsu has probably helped here. I am finding, like you said, the more you can get out of the way and let the process happen the more powerful it is, that is once you have an idea of diagnosis I suppose. It's a fine balance of filtering this presence through yourself giving it your own stamp that is just right for, Here and Now. Loved the post, good one.
Yvette: I allow myself to be much more, um, 'visible' on line than in real life. And, of course, with people like you, whom I feel safe with, I express that part of myself more readily... because you know I'm kidding. (and thank you again!)
Rob: Thank you for your comments. Not familiar with Michael Rose, but will look him up. It is a fine balance, isn't it? Between mind and, whatever it is. And keeping all of our 'stuff' out of the way. Once again, why shiatsu is such a powerful practice for other areas of self-development.
Hi Gina,
Congras for being more aligned with the divine. And thanks for reminding us to stay out of the way and let nature takes its own course.
But the challenge I find is knowing the right time to stamp on your foot and go do it, and when to relax and let go. The closest answer I can get is: when you know you've put in your best, let nature do the rest.
But again, when is your best effort, well, the best? The 2nd revision or the 10th? It's something I'm still trying to find out.
For me, it's been about expanding awareness simply by witnessing thoughts, and letting go, first through specific practices and then just naturally. Being in this gentle, unoccupied space is very opening. Limits disappear. Intuition takes over. Why or how it happens I have no idea.
As you point out so well, it comes to down whether we can allow Awareness to flow through.
Great article, thanks.
k
@WP: As I said in a rare enlightened moment to my husband, who was, once again, describing his experience of surfing, that it's a matter of putting yourself in the right position in relation to your environment. It requires a great deal of effort at first to learn what that right position is, but once you 'get it' (and that can be very transitory) everything just flows and you can ride the waves effortlessly. (His eyes bugged out to hear me make so much sense! LOL) When is that best effort? I don't know, but I sense it's like what Mark Silver describes as the "cha-chunk" feeling. A perfect alignment with the heart.
@K: I will always agree that so much, if not everything, begins with awareness.