How Do You Show Up? The Sequal

In my last post, I promised to share some things you can do to start showing up intentionally in your work life.

This idea came up, as many do, during a shiatsu session. I was working on someone and thinking how important it is for me to be prepared before my client comes in, and how this could probably be true for most people. Even if they're not required to be "on".

And how preparing to be "on" might actually make an otherwise dull and unfulfilling job a little better.

Which led me down a ranting path about 'this is your life' dammit, and all that.

A good message, probably, but not where I was going originally.

So, going back to where I started (and finding that I really don't know what might work for someone else, but I'll tell you what I do) here are some things I do to show up fully for my work... even if it's just for one person at a time.

Perhaps you can tweak them to be applicable to your day...

Feel gratitude for the work. I'm fortunate to be doing something I enjoy. And even more appreciative that people pay me to do it. And thrilled that I even have a job. The days that I don't really feel like getting out there.. these are the days I have to remember this blessing.

Stretch. My brain does mornings pretty well. My body - a different story. But if I do some stretching and moving first thing, before the coffee, it makes all the difference. (I know, duh! Right?) Some more stretches again, once I get into my office before my client shows up - especially these - and my knees aren't as likely to yell at me later.

Eat well. A woozy shiatsu practitioner is more likely to fall over on her clients if she neglects to eat properly before a session (note to self!) But the trick is to not eat too much, as my nervous system and sensitivity are not as keen and responsive if the body is busy digesting.

Dress the part. I advise my clients to dress in loose comfortable clothing, as we do move the body around a bit. Obviously, I have to as well. But I also have to look like a professional worthy of respect and the certificates on my wall. Sweats feel great but do not say "Please pay me $70 for an hour of work." This is useful even if I'm only sitting invisibly behind a computer. It affects how I feel about myself and my own authority. (Can you guess what I'm wearing now...?)

Leave the baggage home. I have a home life, like most people, with stuff that happens... all too  predictably right before I walk out the door. Bitching to my poor client about my irresponsible teens or the cat puking on the carpet, for some reason, is bad for business, so I have to find a way to put that stuff aside for a little while. I have a long enough drive from home that I can usually yell in the car, or find simpatico with Alanis Morissette, allowing me to be a nicer me once I get to my office. (This also helps for those of you trying not to bring baggage back home to your innocent and unsuspecting family and pets...)

Chant a little. Another thing I've started doing on the way in.. (thank you again Fabeku!!) This post speaks for itself and I gotta tell you, I love doing this!

Set the stage. Having an office with a vibe that allows clients to relax is key. It's about creating the sacred circle that defines "this place" from the rest of the world...allowing for focused energy and magic to happen. But this can be created anywhere. I wrote about it here and here. You can create your circle of power in your car, around your desk or wherever you work. Even around your self, as you go about your day. I wrote about how Shiva Nata helps me with that.

Know who you're dealing with. This is what intake forms are for... to get info about who'll I'll be working on (as well as to cover my butt). With repeat visitors, I make sure to check back on the notes I wrote because not all bodies are created equally and it makes for a better experience all round if I'm mindful of this unique individual... their preferences, needs, hot buttons, sensitivities, and what allows them to open up more easily.

Ask for guidance. I'm not always clear on who I'm asking, but even when I just speak to the ether, and ask for a little help in having the best path open to me to working with someone, I always seem to do just the right thing.

Intend Loving-Kindness. Some people are more challenging to work with. But we all have our stuff, right? Instead of fretting and anticipating dealing with difficult people, pre-pave the way with a little Maitri meditation. Not always easy to do, but it gives me better control of my mood and energy instead of giving it away to that jerk cutting me off on the highway (who I can then imagine to have a damn good reason, like rushing his laboring wife to the hospital..)

Have a clear starting point but be open to other possibilities. Like I said, the intake form is useful, what people say is bothering them is obviously worth paying attention to, but trusting what my hands and expereince tell me can lead me to do things that the client didn't even realize they needed.

Work from the hara. Hara=center of gravity=center of power. When I come from my center, literally and metaphorically, I work smarter, stronger, more efficiently and effectively, and more intuitively. I stay grounded, relaxed and true to myself and am less likely to be knocked over and sucked in by what's going on around me.

Did I forget anything? Need help translating this to what you do?

Loving - Kindness Meditation

Loving - kindness .... that quality of thought toward another being that carries with it the intention and embodiment of detached compassion.

It is a simple and lovely gift not only to receive, but to give.

Practicing the Maitri, the loving-kindness meditation, has the immediate effect of putting your own heart in a loving place and diffusing any strong negative emotions you may feel toward another.

You can practice this short meditation as is, as an addition to your regular practice, or even call the words to mind as you go throughout your day and encounter other souls who may need this blessing from you.

The idea is that, beginning with your self (the one who usually needs your compassion most), then extending to a loved one, then to a friend, a stranger, and then finally to someone you have conflict with... you call each of these people to mind in turn, offering them these words:

May you be happy.

May you be healthy.

May you be peaceful.

May you live with ease.

There may be those that you have trouble feeling the words flow easily to. If this is the case, you can come back to them another time. But often, holding someone in your mind that have issues with while repeating these words has a tremendous effect of softening the hard edges around those feelings, and relieving the power those feelings have on your own being.

This simple practice can turn the whole direction of a 'bad' day around.

Perfect for a Monday morning!

Monday Meditation - How Does Your Life Feel?

Your body has something to tell you.

Do you have a few minutes to listen?

I am not the first to suggest that our bodies manifest the expression of our emotional and mental states. Many of our various chronic issues, aches, pains, ailments, and postures can be connected to the degree of disparity between our life choices and our sense of fulfillment with them.

Sometimes we know that we're not exactly thrilled with some area of our life.. our work, our relationships, our body image ... but the very idea of admitting that implies that we might have to change those things, which can be very scary. So, we adopt a state of denial and mental gymnastics to convince ourselves that it's really not that bad.

The mind is exceedingly capable of deception. Our bodies however, are not. They will let us know, perhaps gently at first, and then increasingly louder, that all is not well.. that your 'inner' is not congruent with your 'outer'.

Some of us are pretty adept at reading these signs. We've developed an open line of communication and trust with our physical bodies, where the messages about the 'rightness' of choices are easily received. For many more of us, we are not yet proficient in that language, and we need practice to develop it.

Right now, I invite you take a few minutes to feel your life.

Have a piece of paper and pen handy to write down some notes.  For each area listed below, I want you to allow whatever bodily sensations or thoughts to arise in your awareness. I say thoughts, because maybe the sensations are not quite clear to you, but whatever the first thoughts or images are to come up, jot those down. It's important not to overthink this, or try too hard to feel something. Also, try not to label the sensations of thoughts as good or bad. Just try to be as descriptive and accurate about what you do feel. (ie: tickle in the stomach; tightness in the chest; warm behind the ears, etc)

If nothing arises, that's fine, or if the images, thoughts or feelings don't make sense to you at first, that's okay. Write them down anyway. Your inner being has a way of answering questions even if you're not consciously aware of it. Kind of like how you forget someone's name, but once you stop thinking about it, it pops up later.

Find a quiet place to sit comfortably. Take a few gentle cleansing breaths.

Now imagine your work. When you visualize getting up in the morning to get ready, what do you notice? Where in your body do you feel something? Does your energy level feel like it goes up or goes down? Are there any particular people or situations that trigger a noticeable reaction from your body during your work day? What do you feel in your body when you imagine those situations?

If you are in a relationship, think about your partner. Imagine seeing him or her after a day spent away from each other. What do you feel when you imagine seeing them again? Think about an activity that you enjoy doing together. How does that feel? Think about an area of conflict. Where do you feel that?

Bring your attention to your own body. Imagine looking at yourself in a mirror, or being looked at by someone else. Do you feel yourself wanting to either diminish or overemphasize a part of your body? Does your posture change when you imagine being looked at? Which part of your body does your mental attention immediately go to?

Think of a random activity that you don't enjoy doing, but 'have' to. What do you notice. (For example, I do not like grocery shopping. Just thinking about it brings on a feeling of fatigue, especially in my lower back.)

Now think of an activity that you really enjoy doing. What do you notice... maybe about your shoulders, your breathing, your facial muscles. Was there a noticeable difference between that image and the one before it?

If you are dealing with any chronic issues, sit with them and 'ask'what they are trying to tell you.

If there are any other areas of your life you'd like to feel out, do so now.
Otherwise, take a moment to express gratitude to your physical body for communicating with you (even if you didn't feel much). You can also express an intention that more information will be revealed to you from this point on. Thoughts or feelings may pop up later, or your attention will be more immediately drawn to your physical sensations in the future.

It's not necessary that you understand these messages yet, or that you even received them clearly.

It's most important that you asked the question.

Thoughts? Comments? Questions? Comment below or contact me!

Related posts:

Under Pressure - How Do You Feel It?

Under Pressure - Turtle Syndrome

The New Rules of Posture

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You Are Here

Having played with mindfulness meditation and breathing as a means of experiencing 'present moment awareness', but not really being sure if I've hit it or not ... or really being clear on what present moment awareness even felt like... even while often ignorantly talking about it...

.. I think I'm finally getting a little closer.

Or at least I came upon a visual analogy that kind of describes what the connection is between the breath and the present moment.

This was during a session of 'consciously connected breathing', as outlined in Michael Brown's book, "The Presence Process", a practice which he claims would be the most efficacious route to developing present moment awareness.

My experiences with bringing awareness to my breathing had thus far not had an astounding effect beyond the continual realization that, oh, yes, now I'm breathing in. Oh, and now I'm breathing out.... still separate moments and actions in time. However, I think there was something about the 'connected' aspect of breathing... in which I gently draw the breath in, allow it to fall naturally, and then draw it back in, not allowing for pauses in between, and bringing all of my awareness to the transition... this approach revealed the continuity of the breathing process throughout my life, and as a result, had the immediate effect of me becoming aware of my place along that continuum.

If you are a visual person, as I am, perhaps this will help.

I have always been fascinated by the image of a long, empty road. There's something about standing still on a stretch of asphalt, on which the points on either end are not visible to me from that place, that feels mysterious and compelling. There's the awareness that the road comes from somewhere and connects to somewhere else. And because I know this, I can imagine being connected to any point along that road beyond my vision, in that moment, including the ends, simply by virtue of standing in that one spot. For some reason, I always thought that was pretty cool.

This is the visual I had with the breathing. It is a process that has been with me since birth, and will continue until I die - a fact which was always logical and obvious to my rational mind. But it was the sensation of continuity that had previously eluded me. And so it with the awareness of this constant function.. like a road or a golden thread stretching from one end of my life to another, that brought an immediate awareness of where I was at that moment. And that everything else was just scenery.

Brown says the breathing exercise has the effect of activating our Inner Presence... our timeless knowing that does not concern itself with the dramas that our ego minds do.  Yes, I stray off the path, and often get lost in the woods and the quicksand, but I now realize that the path isn't lost to me....only my awareness of it is, and all I have to do is remember to breathe, and the path reappears. It is, at once, the means of travel, and the destination. No matter what's going on... the path through the quagmire that my thoughts insist on taking, I have the ability (hopefully) to stop and go, "oh, there's my breathing" and return to the basics. And in my more 'successful' breathing sessions, I get the feeling that this is all that is really essential. Everything else is just fluff and drama. Sure, some is necessary fluff, but keeping my feet on the path allows me to consciously choose which drama to participate in.

Makes it a whole lot more fun, to be sure.

Like this post? Please, take a breath and consciously:

Monday Meditation - Flow with Abundance

I thought it would be fun to kick off the New Year with a guided visualization for attracting prosperity into our lives.

I have to admit, some it made me chuckle, like the invitation to imagine 'waves of cash flowing toward me, and raining from the sky'... yikes... but I did really like the idea of first becoming a container that can hold this abundance.. that is, having a recognition of self-worth. Granted, feelings of self-worth may take a bit longer than a 4 minute video to achieve, but it is a good thing to remember its necessity in the larger scheme of things.

I also appreciated the visualization first being directed outward to others and their well-being. A recognition of our interconectedness and that flow is a two-way process, I believe, is essential to our inclusion in the stream of prosperity.

So, let's get those visualization caps on... and here's to an exciting and prosperous New Year... in whatever form that may take for you!

Monday Meditation - Resolution with Intention

If it is your tradition to make a resolution for the New Year, I invite you to participate in a little exercise.

Whether you have one item on your list, or several, write them down so you have the words in front of you.

Find a quiet place to sit comfortably, and take a few deep cleansing breaths.

Starting with the first item on your list, repeat it to yourself, and then hold it in your mind.

Breathe.

Now ask yourself:

Why do I want this?

Is this something I want to do for myself, or something I think I'm 'supposed' to do/be/have/act like/appear?

When I think about these words, do I feel any sensation in my body? Do I feel a sense of joy? Motivation? Excitement? Or resistance? Dread? Discouragement?

If I am feeing a sense of resistance, where do I think that might be coming from?

What do I hope to feel by following through on this resolution? Can I feel that way now?

If this is something I really want for myself, and I have concerns about being able to stick with it, what kind of support system can I create to help me?

Repeat this with each item, jotting down any thoughts or feelings that you notice. If the resolution you are stating feels a little vague, like, "I want to be more patient", can you imagine a specific picture of yourself in which you are experiencing more patience? Can you create a visual of yourself looking back on the year having attained any one of these goals and how that would feel?

If you could manifest just one change in your life this coming year that would contribute to your well-being, what would be, and what would you have to do to make it happen?

Feel free to share...

Monday Meditation - Feel the Stillness

This will be my first attempt at offering a meditation of my own, instead of posting a video from youtube ...fun as those are (and oh *so* easy for me..)

During this time of year, I think a lot about stillness, and how much so we aren't (still) during the holidays. There are four points during the year that are marked by the shift in length of the days and nights as a result of the tilting of the earth: the equinoxes and the solstices. I think the winter solstice is one of the more dramatic turning points, at least in the northern hemisphere, as it still seems to carry forth from ancient times that hushed expectation of the light retuning after the longest night of the year, and the ever so slight concern that it may not.

Can you picture the vigils held... the feeling of responsibility to usher in, or even be midwife to the birth of the Light, and get a sense of how those rituals may have developed into the Christian celebration?

It's a powerfully magical time.. especially if one takes a moment to breathe it in.

I invite you to do that now.

Find a quiet place to read these words, or read them first to get a sense of the feeling behind them, and then make yourself comfortable where you have a few minutes of quiet. Better yet, step outside in the night air, under the stars, where you can better grasp a sense of the earth as she turns on her axis.

Notice your body where it is standing or sitting.... in either case with an awareness of your feet on the ground. Picture a string attached to the top of your head and gently pull it so as to gently lift yourself up, but gracefully. Allow your shoulders to relax.

Place your attention on your breath.. not forcing or coaxing it, but allowing it to rise and fall. Follow it with your attention, and notice the pause in between the inhale and the exhale. This is the place in between the activity... the solstices, the point of turning where the motion is neither here nor there... the pause in the pendulum swing, before the energy is gathered or released.

Stay in this place for a few minutes.

There may be a hundred things left on your to-do list.. that will ever be so... but right now, allow yourself to be aware that in this moment, nothing has to happen. Nothing is happening. Let yourself be filled with the peace of this stillness, even if for a moment. It is always here for you.

Cultivate a trust in stillness. Know that life will still be there in all its glorious mayhem when you return. When you feel overwhelmed, listen to your breathing, and in particular to the space between.

Peace be with you.