The Morality of Healing
A statement made by my husband some years ago concerning his gripes with the law of attraction rhetoric (and which I kinda wrote off as him 'not getting it') was echoed today by a friend of mine searching for help with her health issues.
What my hubs had said that his take on the L of A was that if you're weren't manifesting your desires, than somehow it was your fault. That it's because you weren't 'thinking' correctly, or doing it right, and it seemed to create a lot of unnecessary stress in worrying and watching your every thought. Because heaven forbid, you should offer up a contradictory thought, and undo all of the positive work you had invested.
While I still think that's not exactly the case, I can see how he developed that perspective. If I'm sitting here, visualizing prosperity and abundance, and I'm living life as if wealth is already mine, then why the hell am I still broke? It's something wrong with my thinking? The way I'm thinking? The thoughts themselves? Can I make myself any more neurotic than I already am? Gah!
And so, my friend today shared that in her pursuits for answers to her symptomology, she admitted finding more compassion among the allopathic docs than among the holistic practitioners she encountered. Seems there is something to be said for modalities that take some responsibility on themselves, instead of placing it all on the patient. Or better yet, give no explanation.
What I mean is, somewhere along the line, the idea of our emotional stuff being made manifest in our physical bodies got a little twisted when it comes to some of us supposedly more enlightened holistic types. What my friend encountered, in response to these alternative treatments failing to solve her problems quickly, was a kind of blame. Why was she blocking the healing? Why did she need this illness? How was it serving her? (And ohmygod, smacking my head as I realize I've said this very thing to people in so many words.. and damn! how arrogant I can be sometimes...thank you, god, for showing me this perspective...)
I do believe there is validity to the underlying concept. I do believe that our emotions and our stuff, if not addressed, become our physical experience, and some of us do believe we need to be wounded in some way to have our needs met.
But our job, as therapists (I refrain from using 'healers', for reasons I've explained here) is not to judge, is it? Somehow that seems to smack of the MO of an certain entrenched dogmatic religious belief, which many of us in Western culture are indoctrinated in, whether we care to admit it or not.
The idea that Universe will not bestow its blessings on you unless you think the "right thoughts", as if said universe is peering into your head and hmm, gee, who does *that* sound like? And if you're not getting better after I've wielded my perfect and wondrous healing talents, well, then, there's something flawed in *your* mindset, and you must exorcise those demons.
Sounds a lot, too, like how we've mangled the concept of karma. Mistaking our tiny, limited and fallible judgement abilities for that of the Divine.
Anyway, as my friend was wise to realize, sometimes your journey is just your journey. And maybe this is hers. She wants healing. She wants relief from her pain, and to be in her power again. And maybe she does have lessons to learn. But does she need someone like me pointing out to her what I would have the audacity to think those lessons are? Could compassion be of more use? And gentle caring touch? And the meeting of her right where she is in all her imperfect perfection? And where I am in mine?
And does there need to be an Answer and an Explanation for everything, or can we just spend some time together, feeling the connection between us, which is healing for both of us, no matter how it appears or is quantified...?
(This post is dedicated to both L.H. and W.K....)