I've been meaning to do this for the last few years, and Yay! This year, I'm finally getting to it!
ABMP (Associated Bodyworker and Massage Professionals).. the association I belong to, is sponsoring their 10th annual "EveryBody Deserves a Massage Week"; this year, from July 19th to the 25th.
This is a week where all ABMP members are encouraged to get out there, raise awareness for their work and give back to the community.
So, I'm teaming up with my friends and office neighbors at the Lionville Holistic Center: Bill Bryan, Hilary Sohn (both massage therapists) and Cindy Ayton (reflexologist) to do just that.
If you're in the Chester County, PA area, we'd love for you to come by.
Here are the details:
Where: Lionville Holistic Health Center, 311 & 312 Gordon Drive, Exton, PA 19341
When: Saturday, July 25th, 9am-3pm (with a lower key version between 11 and 3 on Tuesday, July 21st, just at #312)
What: 15-minute chair massage for you in exchange for a canned good or two (to benefit the Lord's Pantry in Downingtown), with either Bill Bryan, Hilary Sohn, or me (Gina Marks) (or Cindy Ayton, and me, if you come on Tuesday); a chance to win a full session with the therapist of your choice; free healthy snacks; balloons!!! (I know, right? how exciting!); an opportunity to meet your friendly neighborhood bodyworkers!
(And quite possibly, a few minutes of fame.. I'm working on getting the Daily Local to come.. whee!)
Why: Why not? Sounds like fun, right? And it just might be one of four days this summer that it doesn't rain! (Hey, we can always hope...)
Bring a friend.. bring all your friends... just come! And don't forget your canned goods!
They say that you shouldn't judge another person until you've walked a mile in their shoes.
The idea here being that we really have no idea what another person is dealing with, what their lives are like, what it's like to be in their heads and hearts, and therefore really don't have an accurate picture by which we can make judgments about their words and actions.
I think this is good advice, as easy as it often is to make assessments about that other guy's so obviously blatant rude behavior.
But I digress.
I've been thinking a bit lately about empathy and compassion. About certain governmental leaders in recent news who may have been calling the kettle black. And while the rest of us scream 'hypocrisy', I was thinking what a opportune time for that person to rethink his former stance against another governmental leader who once was in a similar position that he now finds himself.
But I digress yet again.
What I was really thinking when this came up, while working on a recent client, was this woman's breathing. And how it might feel to breathe that way. And her feet. And her body. And what it might feel like to inhabit that body.
This was one tip given to us in shiatsu school... when assessing a person's condition, and observing their posture, imagine putting yourself in that same bodily position. In doing so, you can almost imagine what they feel like.. what kind of outlook they might have on the world.
Try it, if you can. (Preferably without them noticing, otherwise they might accuse you of mocking them). Notice if their shoulders are slouched or pulled back, or if their chin hangs down or juts out. How do they walk? Do they shuffle? Or aggressively stride? Can you mimic this for a few moments and see if your own attitude changes, for better or worse?
And if you are fortunate enough to have someone beside you when you sleep, try noticing their breathing pattern and making yours the same. Often it's very difficult and uncomfortable after a few minutes.
This same client (coincidentally) was telling me a while back about a psychologist she knew of who would slowly mirror his client's mannerisms throughout their session ... so little as to be imperceptible. (I believe this conversation came up with her around the topic of goth.) And so, in his process of working with young people who had adopted this dark, macabre fashion statement, and then mirroring their posturing, he found his own thoughts growing rather dark and gloomy.
How interesting, I thought. To be able to get into a person's head by getting into their body. Almost literally walking in their shoes (which, by the way, in doing so, we possibly could get an idea of their posture, as our shoes wear out in accordance with our way of walking).
Body empathy?Kinesthetic compassion? Maybe there already is a whole science around this. I know that I've heard that when we want people to know that we're really listening to them, we mirror their body language. Often we do this unconsciously, adapting their movements, and sometimes even the pitch and tempo of their voice. (Try it! Notice what your own arms want to do when talking to someone who has their arms folded as if in a protective stance..)
And then, what would happen if we were to try reversing the process? In ourselves, by adopting a more upright and forward outlook when we're feeling down. Or keeping our postures open and uplifted when interacting with someone else who feels closed or low.
Could we better 'feel for each other' by learning how to feel as each other?
I woke up yesterday morning with my first thought being a metaphor about shiatsu.
(Don't ask me... sometimes it's a goofy song, like Pink Floyd's "Pigs"; other mornings, something else totally random. Who knows where my brain gets off to while I'm asleep..)
Anyway, the thought was along the lines of how the difference between other types of massage and shiatsu was like the difference between having a conversation with someone while standing at your front door, or inviting them into your living room to sit down for a while with a big mug of tea.
And, please, this is not to dis' massage in any way. I get regular therapeutic "western" massage. It's awesome. But I think there is a difference for many people in how shiatsu is received, based on my own experience, as well as what my people are telling me. Considering that the most recent comment along these lines came a few days ago, it might explain why my mind was chewing on this.
This odd analogy also seems to synch with how Zen shiatsu is described.
Allow me to lamely paraphrase what I read in David Sergel's "The Natural Way of Zen Shiatsu": From the ancient Chinese perspective, humans exist between the forces of heaven and earth.... heaven's force is along a vertical axis, earth on the horizontal. Ideally our activities are balanced reception of the two.
Our Western experience is more imbalanced toward the earth/horizontal side. More material, more superficial... and, as an example, western style massage is considered to move along the horizontal planes of the body.
Shiatsu is given with a more perpendicular (vertical) direction. The touch is directed inward toward the body's core; it's penetrating, and so it is perceived as going deeply within (..without being invasive. After all, I did say 'invited in for tea', not dragged in and tied to a chair.)
With the practitioner's intention, the treatment becomes like an intimate conversation between friends. It may touch on sensitive topics, but without offense, if the practitioner is mindful and compassionate. The shiatsu giver is careful not to prod or cause pain, which could cause a defensive reaction, but is willing to go deep enough while being supportive, so as to allow the receiver to explore those vulnerable places and bring healing energy to them.
Once again, this is not to suggest that one way is better than another. I know I'm not the kind of person that wants every person that appears at my door to come in and hang for a few hours. Nor am I always open to that experience, no matter who it is. After all, I got lots of things going on along the horizontal plane.
But when I am really needing that, and that need is met, it's always deeply fulfilling.
How 'bout you? Do you have a shiatsu or other bodywork experience to share?
Last week I went to see one of my all-time favorite bands, the Cowboy Junkies (for, oh, I'd say, the fifth time).
Without going into the gory details about how Margot Timmins' voice makes me melt into a puddle, I just want to call attention to a small detail I've come to expect about her appearance.
As if she wasn't lovely enough, her 'space' on stage is set up with a stool, a music stand holding song lyrics (they often break out brand new, as-of-yet unrecorded stuff), a cup of tea, and at least one or two large bouquets of roses.
So, when she's up there, her image is framed with this very feminine asthetic.
Me being the sole female in a house of five guys, I could relate to her position in an otherwise all-male band. And how often my house is really a showcase for hot wheels, toy guns, game controllers, electric guitars and dirty socks.
To be fair, I've been blessed with a husband who not only likes (needs) a clean, uncluttered home, but actually does housework on a regular basis. And I've learned over the years to change my lowdown packrat ways, and have managed to let go of a lot of stuff **.
But it's come to my attention in recent years that there's been some degree of creative expression lost for me. Whether by choice or necessity, I'm not sure, but I do know that seeing Margot up there inspired me to get back in touch with whatever that was.
So, the next day, after clearing out the spider-webby corners around my desk, I decided actually to sit with my laptop upstairs in the kitchen where it was sunny. I cut some roses, lit my incense, and made my own little circle of magic for the day where I worked. It really affected how I felt, how I approached my tasks, and I do believe, enhanced the creative process.
I would also have to tip my hat to Jennifer Hofmann, of Inspired Home Office, for elevating office space decluttering to a form of Zen gardening and spiritual practice. You may look forward to a guest blog from her soon so she can tell you herself what she does.
We can't always overhual our lives, or remodel the house to really reflect our values when we feel overwhelmed. Sometimes just keeping it all in some semblance of managed chaos is even beyond our capability. But I'm learning, from Margot, Jen, Goddess Leonie, and acertain crazy yoga practice I got myself into, that even just taking charge of the immediate space around you... intentionally creating a small but powerful periphery from which to operate, has an amazing and totally non-overwhelming effect on the larger world.
I'm still playing with this, and will keep you updated on how it progresses (and whether or not I figure out how to give my space "cone of silence" protection, so as to ward of small boy-shaped interruptions...)
** Making the obligatory shiatsu connection: packrat-itis can be the sign of Lung/Large Intestine imbalance. In TCM, Lung has to do with trust, and Large Intestine has to do with the ability to let go (as in, both literal and metaphorical constipation). With those of us who hang on to things, it could indicate an underlying lack of trust in the future's ability to sustain us...**
Isn't she lovely, folks?.... an interview with Lisa Hunter, time management goddess, and founder of InnerBusinessDiva.com and Superlicious Diva Day.
I've raved about Lisa before, here, and here, and yeah, here. Her 'sexy' approach to time management for 'go-getting entrepreneurial women' inspired me to such a huge extent, not only in my personal life, but in how to see similarities with my shiatsu work.
Lisa learned the hard way, after going through intense burnout in her music business, that there IS another way for passionate women to manage their time, their businesses and their lives in a fun and totally sexy way.
You can learn more about her here, as well as participate in her totally awesome Superlicious Diva Day, happening June 25th. (See bottom for more details)
Me: Hi Lisa! First, I'm wanting to clarify. Your site and your work is directed toward 'go-getting entrepreneurial women. Can your message connect with women who aren't necessarily in business for themselves? After all, stress and high-pressure to-do lists seem to be universal in our culture. And I know the workload and management pressures of being a mom and running a household can equal that of any CEO.
Or is your work just geared toward entrepreneurs?
Lisa: You're right - my website is geared specifically for entrepreneurial women AND the stuff that I coach and teach can definitely be applied to ALL women. I just had to pick a more narrow demographic for marketing purposes, and working with entrepreneurial women is my particular specialty!
So even if you're not an entrepreneurial woman, please read on anyway. This is for you too ;0)
Me: I've noticed you can't really throw a virtual rock on the internet these days without hitting a time management expert. Tell us why what you do is unique and why people like me worship the ground you walk on?
Lisa: Gina, you're a stitch! Well, in that case, I'm glad you're not throwing any rocks at me. And instead you're actually throwing compliments ;0) I built the Sexy Time Management systemfor that very reason - every time you turn around there's another time management expert with all kinds of tips and advice.
You try those tips, and they uh, kinda sorta work. I've lived the whole overwhelmed, burned-out, over-scheduled, constantly-behind routine and found that even though the standard time management tips are useful, they don't usually get to the heart of the matter, the whole underlying cause for all this crazy running around in the first place. After years of observing myself and watching what did and didn't change this for me, I found that it all came down to two core things - rhythm and inner knowing.
So that's what I teach - how to bring your real rhythm and inner knowing into the process of time management. These are the things that make all the other tips and tricks out there really work for you. And as a bonus, they are also the things that bring you more in touch with your internal power and with your own internal sexiness. It's a two-for-one: not only make your schedule better, but walk in the world with more vibrancy, essence and power.
Me: As an aside, I came to find and love you through something you wrote, the infamous "Matt Damon"** post, and the question within that post, "What's the Real Rhythm Here?", which I played off of.
This exercise really hit me and inspired me to 1) Look at my list as less of a static thing to tackle, and more as a dance, in which both elements, the list and myself, are fluid and flexible. And 2) to introduce elements of juicy inspiration that I wouldn't have otherwise thought of to get the wheels turning in a fun way.
Would you say these were kind behind your intention, and can you talk a little more about how you came up with sexy time management?
Lisa: That's so cool that those posts inspired you in that way - yay! And those posts are a good examples of how I came to approach time management from the perspective of rhythm.
I started to view my list as dictated by rhythm rather than dictated by to-do's. Now, it feels kinda crazy at first because the to-do's are important to get done. But when I first started experimenting, I chose to make the following of my rhythm more important than getting everything done. If it didn't fit in my rhythm I didn't do it. That was extreme (because you can't always have everything in life fit your rhythm), but what I learned from that experiment was how to notice my real rhythm and what I could realistically get done within it.
When I tried to tackle lists that didn't take my rhythm into account, I found I was less productive overall. I then began to use my awareness of my real rhythm to guide my future scheduling choices. Over time, I found that I got more done in less time when I used rhythm to guide my choices rather than conventional prioritization and brain-assessment things that you learn from most time management tips. Me: And the question that maybe people are asking, maybe not, but I always feel compelled to answer anyway: what, pray tell, does this have to do with shiatsu?
Lisa: The first thing that comes to mind is a shiatsu massage that I had, gosh it was over a decade ago. But I still remember that massage. It was GREAT, and what I remember most is that it was very rhythmic! In fact, it was the rhythm of it that brought me to a very deep place of relaxation. So it makes me think about how I've seen each of my clients become aware of her own rhythm and then use it to guide her scheduling choices, which always results in a schedule that is more sane and successful. The ultimate effect of this kind of schedule and the thing that we truly care about as the bottom-line? More relaxation! Just like you get from rhythm in shiatsu :0)
Gina: And I will add that the idea of rhythm resonates nicely with the idea of priority of treatment that I talked about here, which is about finding the most accessible way in to the receiver's core energy system. Will go into this in depth later. Also, bodywork helps to bring awareness to our own inner knowing about what does and doesn't work for us.
Anyway,one last thing, Lisa. Please, PLEASE tell our readers about your Superlicious Diva Day....
Lisa:Superlicious Diva Business Day is one of my favorite things in the world right now!
(G: Mine too!)
I love bringing spirited, go-getting, sassy and smart entrepreneurial women together for both business and play. And Diva Day is all about that - it's an online forum one day a month to meet other sparky entrepreneurial women and make meaningful connections that come from the heart, not from a place of sharky promotion. We do this through a really cool combination of activities and discussions that facilitate play, self-care rejuvenation and powerful business brainstorming. As you engage with all of this, you get to know each other and connections and inspirations naturally ensue!!
** For the record, while I think Matt Damon's cute, I did replace his image with that of my old stand-by, Viggo Mortenson. You are, of course, free to substitute whomever works for you.**
It's been written that scrubbing the skin daily in some form or other is great not only for exfoliation, but to promote circulation and toxin elimination.
Dry brushingis one method, and in the macrobiotic school of thought, they recommend scrubbing the entire body every morning with a hot wet washcloth till the skin turns red. If that's impractical, then at least the palms and the soles of the feet. (This is also a great use for the ginger water left over from a ginger compress.)
I came across this cool little washcloth many years ago, and I just won't live without it (though they do wear out eventually, so I've replaced it a number of times). When I find myself showering without it, like on trips, I'm left with that incomplete feeling like after brushing my teeth without toothpaste. I feel invigorated after using it with bathing, in ways that I don't with just a washcloth, and I do believe it also helps diminish cellulite due to the increased circulation.
Made from agave fiber in Mexico, this cloth tightens up after a few uses, and while loofah-like in nature, it's more pliable (easier to use) and resistant to mold (few things worse than a moldy loofah...ew).
You can buy one here, or possibly find one at your local natural food retailer.
*A phrase used with the practice of shin tai referring to the course a shiatsu session will take depending on what presents itself as priority in the receiver's body.*
I bring this up because there's something in me, and maybe you as well, that resists structure. Hate it. Even self-imposed. Okay, especially self-imposed.
I can make award-winning to-do lists, I can prioritize till the cows come home, but there are very few days when I can devote my time easily to each item of my list, and check them all off. Or even three of those items.
Attention and focusing issues? Yeah, probably. I blame chronic baby-brain (even though my youngest 'baby' is eight years old.) Lack of self-discipline and motivation? More than likely. But someone wise once wrote (and I should find this person again to profusely thank her) something to the effect of that you have to start out with motivation to get motivated. Or something similarly conundrum-sounding. I just remember going, yeah, exactly.
Another wise and insightful person suggested that we naturally move more rhythmically than what conventional productivity wisdom tells us, and in fact, she helps women find and make the best of their unique groove.
I like that. But I also lose sight of it. And then I came to see the parallels between time management and priority of treatment.
When following the P of T, a shiatsu practitioner recognizes that there are a number of levels of energetic manifestation in a human body: the dense physical structure, the meridians, the fascia, the chakras, the etheric bodies. And it seems that our core energy system can be better accessed through some levels better than other. Also, this access level can change throughout the course of a session. Depends on the person, depends on the practitioner, and a whole host of other factors. It's our job to find the way in on each unique body, to find that button that shifts the whole tone of the session. For example, sometimes meridian work may not be doing a whole lot, but turn the attention to the fascia, and (ahhhh!) the whole body just melts and relaxes. Instant connection.
So, this is what I'm noticing about my to-do list. The multitude of activities on it engage different parts of my brain, or in some cases, like housework, none at all. There are days when I can't write a blog post to save my life, other days when I can do nothing else. (And many days when Quicken incites me to fantasies about laptop-flinging...I have to be really attentive to those openings, and maybe even use a little force on myself to hunker down with budget spreadsheets.)
I'm thinking the key is to look over the tasks at hand for the day and notice where is the most accessible way in. It's hard when certain items seem urgent, but even so, pushing against them, like trying to get a muscle to relax with an ineffective technique, just spins my mental wheels and makes me feel frustrated.
Also, certain days and times of day have an effect on the openings. Like trying to write when the whole house is still asleep obviously goes much easier.
It's like a dance. And it requires a certain level of awareness and listening.. a kind of panning out to see the whole picture of the day, and a honing back in on the details. For me, I like to mix it up, between cerebral work, like budgeting stuff, and more physical grounding housework or pulling weeds.
Everything needs to get done, and somehow it all does. At least the most important things.
How about you? How do you work best and get through your workday?
PS... I should tell you though, sometimes it's about finding the right structure, as in one that reflects the way you most effectively work. Setting up the dance floor in such a way that you don't keep banging your shins on the furniture....know what I mean?
PPS... Thank you again, Lisa Hunter, for setting me on this path, and showing me that there was another way to see productivity. And for the dance floor metaphor...
PPPS ... More on how you can apply P of T to your life coming soon.
;)
Friday, July 3, 2009 at 09:03AM 
I've been meaning to do this for the last few years, and Yay! This year, I'm finally getting to it!
